A Queer Burlesque Hand Fasting Ceremony In The Woods

Heather Schofner Photography’s stunning visuals captured the essence of an unforgettable celebration. Joining forces with Mx. Pucks and Josh, this offbeat duo brought a unique flair to the proceedings. The picturesque setting of a friend’s property in Woodinville, Washington on September 18th, 2021 provided the perfect backdrop for an evening filled with joy and merriment. With a budget of $6,000, this unforgettable gathering was truly one-of-a-kind.

Our queer burlesque hand fasting ceremony at a glance:

Tell us about the queer burlesque hand fasting ceremony:

As we gathered around the altar, the air was filled with intention and meaning. Our offerings included a cat candle, a fat femme candle, a bottle of tequila to honor my aunt who had passed on, bass guitar strings for Josh’s father, whose passing occurred just three months prior to their handfasting, and roses to remember my grandmother. The ceremony was led by our priestess, the extraordinary Goddess Briq House, a friend, burlesque performer, and embodiment of magic.

I took it upon myself to research and write the script for our handfasting, drawing from various pagan ceremonies and handfasting traditions. However, I found that many were deeply rooted in gendered language and monogamous ideals, which didn’t resonate with our non-traditional relationship. So, I set out to create something new, something that would acknowledge and celebrate the love we share with each other and our communities.

This queering of the handfasting was a noble endeavor, and one that ultimately allowed us to challenge and subvert the patriarchal norms that often govern these types of ceremonies.

A poly-friendly and non-possessive ceremony script (with three rings!)

For those seeking a marriage ceremony that transcends traditional possessive language, this script offers a beautiful starting point. Crafted with inclusivity in mind, it’s designed to be used by couples of all genders and relationship structures, including LGBTQ and cishet pairs. This non-possessive ceremony script is perfect for celebrating love without boundaries, and its sweet tone makes it a lovely choice for any couple.

And did you know that the three-ring motif has an interesting backstory, tied to the Iron Ring tradition among Canadian engineers?

Tell us about the queer burlesque reception:

A stroke of good fortune befell us when a close friend traveled from California to Washington, generously taking care of our sustenance needs. As we prioritized nourishment and entertainment for our family, friends, and community, we aimed to create an atmosphere reminiscent of a lively bacchanal, complete with delectable cuisine, refreshing drinks, and the inimitable charm of burlesque performances.

One of my collaborators, also a fellow producer of burlesque shows, skillfully booked local talent for our reception. I even took the stage myself, kicking off the festivities with a sultry burlesque act. The evening was filled with scintillating performances from talented individuals like Faggedy Randy, D’Monica Leone, Celia Lipshutz, Carmen Caliente, Lavish Leone, Irish Lashes, and the mesmerizing IZOHNNY, a renowned boylesque star who brought the house down with his fiery closing act.

As an added touch of elegance, I donned a custom-made velvet infinity jumpsuit crafted by Bawdy Love Clothing, a local nonbinary- and woman-owned lingerie brand committed to size inclusivity. Meanwhile, Josh spent two days preparing scrumptious cupcakes for our reception, ensuring that every detail was accounted for in this joyous celebration.

What was the most important lesson you learned from your ceremony?

Our celebration wasn’t a traditional family affair; instead, it was a collaborative effort between our chosen loved ones and community. As the event planner, I had to relinquish some creative control to focus on crafting the ceremony itself.

The ceremony posed its own set of unique challenges, particularly in regards to navigating gendered language and outdated notions of commitment.

However, overcoming these obstacles allowed us to create something truly impactful for our family, friends, and community – a testament to what’s possible when we defy traditional norms and expectations.

Queer burlesque hand fasting ceremony vendors:

In this captivating photo, Heather Schofner Photography brings together a stunning ensemble of fashion and accessories. The dress, courtesy of JJ’s House, perfectly complements the jumpsuit from Bawdy Love Clothing (@bawdyloveclothing), with its bold design and striking colors. Josh’s vest from GothicFashionUs adds a touch of elegance, while King’s Court Accessories provides an array of stylish accoutrements.

The necklace by Rereshechka Design is a beautiful focal point, paired harmoniously with the handfasting cord from DivinityBraidAndMore. Makeup by Lewks by D’Monica Leone completes the look, bringing together this impressive display of fashion and beauty.